You might want to take little Timmy home before he learns at least 7 fun new words. You’ll still be filled with murderous rage, but at least you’ll be “living in the moment” and all that inspo bullshit. Lest you forgetīefore all the “perfect parents” (i.e. Wanna watch murder documentaries and count gray hairs together? 23. This movie night went very differently when I pictured it with the family who lives in my head. Let’s start a book club with other moms who are on the brink of insanity. Motherhood, insanity, and other words that are synonymous. You’re going to need all that air when you breathe fire later because no one likes what you spent hours cooking for dinner. Now, here is a homework problem I can solve. Wouldn’t want anyone to run out of clean fuggin socks! 13. It’s time for mom to hop on board the crazy train! *bites the head off a bat* 12. Let everyone know that you mean business. We moms try to be so “on” all the time, so it’s only normal that we go Stage 5 nuts every once in a while. The moral of the story is: mommy needs a vacation. Sometimes you just have to let your inner Patricia free to get everyone acting right. They’ll probably just use it as a Nerf target. Post this on every wall in your house so your family at least has a shot of staying on your good side. Please pray for my barren field of fucks. Some are daintily closing their windows before completely losing it on their families so the whole neighborhood can be spared of their regularly scheduled 6 o’clock “Come to Jesus” meeting. Those homies were my patience and free time. Once the kids finally do go to bed, I like to pour one out to my homies who have passed. The last time my children were on the recommended sleep schedule was when they were in the womb, and even then they were kicking me in the bladder. Because children are experts in mental warfare. I will destroy everything you loveīeing a mom is synonymous with bipolar behavior. Check out these memes from 27 other moms who are also losing their shit thanks to the mental laxative that is motherhood. If you’re a mom who is on the brink of a mental breakdown on the daily, you’re not alone. And then we had kids, and all of that shit went straight down the drain, along with our cold coffee and sanity. Once Upon a Time, we were the most patient, level-headed, lighthearted, and optimistic people in the world.
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